Monday, January 4, 2010

Have You Found Your Soul Mate?

soul-mate, soulmates, dating, love, relationship, relationships, i love you, psychic spiritual, best seller , bestseller, bestselling, book, books, author, writer, written
Hello everyone. Wish you all a Very Happy New Year.Hope this year brings lots of happiness, prosperity and love to you and your family. I know , I should have posted a book review at least a few days back, but the best selling book I am reading right now happens to be pretty thick. So I thought while I am reading about how to create good luck this year ;) (*Hint) and blog about a book review on another bestseller I will blog about a topic which lots of young people tend to think about these days, especially the ones who are dating or are in a relationship.
The question is do soul-mates exist?

Actually I found this question in the Orkut community on Deepak Chopra. Here is the actual question asked by Dr Kanwal "I am inquisitive to know something about this soulmate this for real or just a bollywood hype....if there is one then how does one know this is the one....if not how does a person decide if he or she really wants to be with someone.......opinions on this?????? "

Almost all ancient cultures have written about the existence of soul-mates, and  I guess they just  forgot to write about, how to find them, even if they really existed.
In his book Brida, Paulo Coelho talks about the followers of the dark night (witches or wizards),who could identify their soul-mates by seeing a small bright light above the left shoulder of a person.If they could see it, then that person was their soul-mate. I wish it was that simple. It would have saved all of us so much of hassle in finding our soul-mates and money on Hollywood and Bollywood movie tickets :) .Unfortunately we are neither witches nor a wizards.Thank God!!
Maybe, we have to become a soul-mate rather than find one :)

So I did some research on the internet, on how to become a soul-mate, and found this article .
It has some interesting insights about becoming a soul-mate .Here are some interesting lines-“The truth is, a soul mate isn’t something you find,”. “A soul mate is someone you intentionally become. To have a soul mate and the marriage we are looking for, we must work at it. Real and lasting love is something you do, not something you mystically have. Falling in love is a great thing. After the spark and the commitment of ‘til death do us part’ couples have to set their course for the future and commit to be soul mates. You have to learn how to stay together – this is when you really learn what it means to be soul mates.”

Hmm..nice but I was not giving up yet and neither was Dr.Kanwal. So she had a follow up question for me the very next day .She commented,".thanx a lot for that ......helped me solve a lot but still not able to understand how to become a soulmate I agree that marriage is all about compromises and adjustments you make but what if you realise that you are the only one doing that with absolute no adjustments from your partner.......i mean only gives but no attune yourself ......... may be try to become his idea of soulmate then what!!!!! it not like turning into a door mat marrying someone like loosing yourself?"

Hmm good thinking. Now I am not sure what situation Dr Kanwal is in, but I am sure lot's people find themselves in similar situations.

So the question is what if only one person is making all the effort,and the other person is just siting on the couch watching TV and you end up feeling like a doormat. What do you do then??You know , how we consider relationships about give and take,have some drama..make our lives more like Bold and the Beautiful..right..

Well, how you want make your life is upto you. As long as we are identified with the mind and have ego based relationships, it will always be based on give and take.It's not uncommon to see people saying,"I did so much for him, what did he do for me?" and cling emotionally to their partners.We even do some of these things unintentionally, without realizing,especially when our egos are running our lives.This bring "drama" in relationships and turns our relationships into daily soaps

On the other hand in a heart based relationship, you do something for the other person, because it comes from unconditional love. So the act of doing anything is charged with love and wisdom, and not "what's in it for me".It really doesn't matter how big or small the act is.If there is something required to be done that is beneficial for both you do it, and if it harms anyone, then you don't . In a way it's a rehash of  the 4th principle of "Think Win Win" that Stephen Covey mentioned in his highly successful book"Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"
Now does unconditional love exist..that's a whole new topic altogether :)..I can tell you it does.

Eckhart Tolle devoted an entire chapter on enlightened relationships in his book "The Power of Now". He also talks at length about unconditional love throughout his book
But if there are people out there , who are unaware of love or not experienced it in anyway..I can only say one have to give to receive and it all starts with the self.

So the moral of the story is..yes soul mates do exist as long as  people are willing to make the commitment to become one and the way to become a soulmate is by loving your partner unconditionally.



  1. This is great news: soulmates exist :). I love how the Universe brings information when we need it. It has come to my attention that I need to start with me before committing myself to a serious relationship. Thank you for this posting and your blog.


  2. I'm a big believer in not expecting too much. I think looking for a soul mate is expecting too much. Just find someone whose company you enjoy and who you can get along with.

  3. Perhaps, we should forget all these words and stop worrying about this nonsense about"soulmates" and "relationships", and just try some common sense. If you are going to commit to another and expect it to be for a lifetime,the odds are probably against you in this society, so examine yourelf first and examine the other and their expectations. If they don't match, forget it. If your background and family life are much the better. My wife and I have been married for 54 years and this is all I can add to the discussion. My best

  4. You are saying that ‘ to receive you have to give’…unconditionally……
    But the person whom we are giving has to be connected at least to understand that its been given…..
    Do you think its necessary to make the person feel the same.....or just...feeling it yourself is enough.

  5. "Almost all ancient cultures have written about the existence of soul-mates, and I guess they just forgot to write about, how to find them, even if they really existed."

    They probably left that part so that other people can fill it with their own illusions. =)

  6. @Raylene..Well the universe is always reflecting back to us our deepest beliefs and desires..So if we believe that we are desirable and there is a person out there, for whom we can be the soulmate..and vice versa..the universe will surely manifest it :)

    @nothingprofound...I liked your line.."Just find someone whose company you enjoy and who you can get along with"..but enjoying the company of the same person everyday..for the rest of our lives..takes commitment..and effort to make things work..specially when things don't seem to be working out.

    @countsneaky..I am glad to know that you and your wife have been married for such along time..there must be some deeper wisdom at work when you chose each other. I would surely like to learn more about it from you..

    @Nayana..Well I think most people know, when they are getting something for free, or asking for it..atleast the mentally stable and disease free kind..People like it when you do things for them, and they will return your favors in whatever way they can..but we should do what we can and should out of our love and the answer to your question is yes..just feeling it yourself is sufficient..sometimes just wanting something pushes it away from you :)

    @Ryhen..:) I am glad those lines resonated with you.

  7. Nice write up.. Success is always an outcome of efforts in everything including relationships. Unconditional love is something we all seek, but i guess it all begins by giving and also accepting the imperfections of our partner. Well said my friend..

  8. July 15, 2010
    What are soulmates? Pastlife relations that were great. This life I was the soulmate for dozens of
    ladies because I could love them unconditionally.
    Now, if you had some bad ones and do not like yourself (as many peopdo)it will be difficult to
    find a soulmate. First love to love yourself and others unconditionally, and soulmates will be all
    over thye planet.
    Good hunting and good luck!!!!!!!!