Have You Found Your Soul Mate?

Hello everyone. Wish you all a Very Happy New Year.Hope this year brings lots of happiness, prosperity and love to you and your family. I know , I should have posted a book review at least a few days back, but the best selling book I am reading right now happens to be pretty thick. So I thought while I am reading about how to create good luck this year ;) (*Hint) and blog about a book review on another bestseller I will blog about a topic which lots of young people tend to think about these days, especially the ones who are dating or are in a relationship.
The question is do soul-mates exist?

Actually I found this question in the Orkut community on Deepak Chopra. Here is the actual question asked by Dr Kanwal "I am inquisitive to know something about this soulmate business....is this for real or just a bollywood hype....if there is one then how does one know this is the one....if not how does a person decide if he or she really wants to be with someone.......opinions on this?????? "

Almost all ancient cultures have written about the existence of soul-mates, and  I guess they just  forgot to write about, how to find them, even if they really existed.
In his book Brida, Paulo Coelho talks about the followers of the dark night (witches or wizards),who could identify their soul-mates by seeing a small bright light above the left shoulder of a person.If they could see it, then that person was their soul-mate. I wish it was that simple. It would have saved all of us so much of hassle in finding our soul-mates and money on Hollywood and Bollywood movie tickets :) .Unfortunately we are neither witches nor a wizards.Thank God!!
Maybe, we have to become a soul-mate rather than find one :)

So I did some research on the internet, on how to become a soul-mate, and found this article .
It has some interesting insights about becoming a soul-mate .Here are some interesting lines-“The truth is, a soul mate isn’t something you find,”. “A soul mate is someone you intentionally become. To have a soul mate and the marriage we are looking for, we must work at it. Real and lasting love is something you do, not something you mystically have. Falling in love is a great thing. After the spark and the commitment of ‘til death do us part’ couples have to set their course for the future and commit to be soul mates. You have to learn how to stay together – this is when you really learn what it means to be soul mates.”

Hmm..nice but I was not giving up yet and neither was Dr.Kanwal. So she had a follow up question for me the very next day .She commented,".thanx a lot for that ......helped me solve a lot but still not able to understand how to become a soulmate I agree that marriage is all about compromises and adjustments you make but what if you realise that you are the only one doing that with absolute no adjustments from your partner.......i mean only gives but no takes......you attune yourself ......... may be try to become his idea of soulmate then what!!!!!.......is it not like turning into a door mat wife...is marrying someone like loosing yourself?"

Hmm good thinking. Now I am not sure what situation Dr Kanwal is in, but I am sure lot's people find themselves in similar situations.

So the question is what if only one person is making all the effort,and the other person is just siting on the couch watching TV and you end up feeling like a doormat. What do you do then??You know , how we consider relationships about give and take,have some drama..make our lives more like Bold and the Beautiful..right..

Well, how you want make your life is upto you. As long as we are identified with the mind and have ego based relationships, it will always be based on give and take.It's not uncommon to see people saying,"I did so much for him, what did he do for me?" and cling emotionally to their partners.We even do some of these things unintentionally, without realizing,especially when our egos are running our lives.This bring "drama" in relationships and turns our relationships into daily soaps

On the other hand in a heart based relationship, you do something for the other person, because it comes from unconditional love. So the act of doing anything is charged with love and wisdom, and not "what's in it for me".It really doesn't matter how big or small the act is.If there is something required to be done that is beneficial for both you do it, and if it harms anyone, then you don't . In a way it's a rehash of  the 4th principle of "Think Win Win" that Stephen Covey mentioned in his highly successful book"Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"
Now does unconditional love exist..that's a whole new topic altogether :)..I can tell you it does.

Eckhart Tolle devoted an entire chapter on enlightened relationships in his book "The Power of Now". He also talks at length about unconditional love throughout his book
But if there are people out there , who are unaware of love or not experienced it in anyway..I can only say one thing..you have to give to receive and it all starts with the self.

So the moral of the story is..yes soul mates do exist as long as  people are willing to make the commitment to become one and the way to become a soulmate is by loving your partner unconditionally.

Namaste